Getting Over A Heartbreak

Heartbreaks, we have all had them, we have all survived them (or not). What makes them even worse is the fact that you don’t just have heart breaks when you part ways with your partner, you can have them when you break up with your best friend, or that special friend with whom you had a non-existent relationship. It’s the lump in your throat that you feel when you suddenly stop talking to someone you used to talk every single day. It’s the pain you feel when you realize that the name that used to be on top of your chat list has been going down and just down. You cannot do anything about it, except for jumping at every message beep hoping it’s them. We have all been there, some of us recovered faster; some of us took too much time. The time it takes for you to recover not always depends on how strong you are, or how deeply you loved that person, because even the strongest person breaks down and we judge their strength based on if they are showing their tears to us or not.

They say when you face a heartbreak, get busy, as busy as possible, as busy as to not think of that pain, as busy that you don’t even have the time to expect a call or text from them. But truth to be told, you cannot pretend forever that the lump in your throat does not exist. You might take your mind off the pain for a while, but as soon as your head hits the pillow it’s all going to come back. Even if you manage to doze off, you’re going to wake up in the middle of the night and try to figure out if you just dreamt it all, if it was just a nightmare that the person you love so dearly has walked out of your life. And the truth will hit you so hard that you’ll feel like you cannot breathe. If you are lucky, you might be able to doze off again, only to wake up in the morning, may be earlier than you usually wake up and stare at your phone hoping there’s a text when deep down you know, there’s not, there’s never going to be. Sleepless nights and sleepy days, and the more you stress yourself with work, the more you are bound to break down because a part of your brain cannot forget the pain and you are constantly pushing it towards the edge so that you can get busy forgetting the pain. But for how long? How long can you pretend that you are the strongest person who’s not allowed to break down? How long can you push away your thoughts? How long are you going to hold those tears in? How long? Sooner or later you’ll find yourself laying flat in your tears because you have pretended for too long, pretended that it doesn’t hurt.

And then there are worse things we do. Sometimes, in order to forget the person who broke our heart, we try to replace them immediately; clinging to the first person we meet after the heartbreak, to the person who tries to bring smile to our face during our difficult times. As healthy as it is to talk to friends and have shoulders to cry on, rebounding in a new relationship is the worst thing we can do sometimes.  We don’t realize that we are using the new person in our life as a distraction from the pain, as a small band aid to a much severe injury. In most cases it does not work out either, because you haven’t allowed yourself the time and space to figure out what’s going on, figure out what you actually want, figure out who you truly are.

So are we not supposed to move on? Yes we do, but we are also allowed to break down, to let out those tears that we have been holding in, to cry it all out until you feel numb. Cry until there are no more tears screaming to come out of your eyes, cry until your pillow cover is wet, cry yourself to sleep. Yes, you are allowed to skip the work, and that meal, you are allowed to mess your life up until you feel there’s nothing left to mess up. Feel human, feel that pain until you are tired of it, until you reach that point where you look back and only see the pain instead of the golden memories that you were crying over. Only then will you realize that those memories are not worth that pain. Only then you’ll look into the mirror and see the strongest person you’ve ever known. You’ll see you, with your raw, naked emotion and you’ll realize that the pain has become a lot more tolerable, it doesn’t hurt as bad as it was hurting just a few days back. The sadness will still be there but you’ll eventually stop waking up in the middle of the night with anxiety. The breakdowns will stop, you’ll still be thinking about them but you’ll have less urge to text them begging them to come back. You’ll feel sad, yet refreshed. You’ll start taking care of yourself, you’ll catch up on everything you have missed out on for the last couple of weeks, you’ll be eating your favourite food and having meals right on time. Yes the sadness will still linger, but not for too long. Soon you’ll realize that you deserve so much better, better than the melancholy feeling and the lump in your throat. You’ll have a better understanding of life and what you want. And that’s when you’ll know that you have completely moved on.

From The Heart: Depression

If you are a regular reader of my blog, chances are that you might have noticed that I haven’t been posting as frequently as I used to, neither have I been active on my social media lately. The reason is that I have been going through a phase that I thought I was over with. Something that I don’t talk about much, something that’s not usually talked about much. In the society we live in, depression is often confused with being sad, it’s not seen as a big deal, or any illness. What we don’t realize is that depression is not just being sad, it’s way more of a bigger deal, a sort of illness that can not only challenge your well being, but overall sucks out any motivation that you have. You hopelessly open your eyes in the morning knowing that today is not the day your depression will leave you behind. Like you feel that life should apologise for being an assh*le to you.
The reason why am writing this very personal post today is because I doubt that the day my depression will leave me behind is long to come and since I feel too connected with my readers, I thought that I owe you guys an explanation of why I haven’t been updating my blog or social media lately, and why I rarely respond to e-mails and inboxes. Because when I went on a trip to Andaman right before the storm that stranded thousands of tourists, trust me when I say that my readers were more concerned about my safe return than my friends were.
I don’t know when I actually started suffering from depression or that I realized that I suffer from depression rather than just sadness. During my teenage days I found myself in a situation that can get anyone depressed. Not just one single situation, but a lot of situations tangled together and that lasted for like 5 years until I found a way out. When it was all over I had to see a therapist. I wasn’t diagnosed with depression, rather told by my therapist that I took the right decision (which I knew) and I moved on.
The following months, I had my ups and downs but after I met my boy friend, situations were better. With him things were so much easier and better but then I realized that even though I am in a much, much better place now, silliest things can get me way too upset and I can hold on to that terrible feeling even after the reason of my sadness gets reversed. I found so many ways out. One was to erase any memory of any person that has disappointed me, without saying a word, without explaining anything. Worse was when I started working as a Data Analyst and made the mistake of becoming friends with a colleague. It didn’t work out very well and it got so out of hand that I resigned even though I really loved the job as well as my post as a senior auditor.
When I left my job, my blog was only 4 months old. I knew too well that it was early, that I should have given my blog a little more time to grow but I could not wake up another morning to get ready and walk in to that office and have another horrible day. I knew I should have looked for another job, but instead I decided to find solitude in my blog. Doing what I love every day, investing in a good camera, improving my photography skills, attending events and writing as frequently as I can, I decided to wait until the hard works finally pays off. I was happy, but there were times I would break down in sobs calling my boy friend asking if I had made the right decision, for I have given up on my corporate career too soon and I wasn’t sure if I could ever make a career out of my blog.
On the month of April, I came back to my hometown to live with my parents. Firstly because I have only given occasional weekend, Christmas and Durga Pujo visits during the last 9 years and since I would be working from home, I can afford to live at a small town now. Secondly because I’ve lived four months in Kolkata after leaving my job and after investing every penny I had on my blog I had to take financial help from my dad to pay my bills and rent. Back at my home I created a perfect atmosphere, I have the whole first floor to myself and I decorated my work place and my dresser and my bedroom with colours and cute stuffs that makes me happy. Eventually I created a balance that helped me with my depression. From filling my room with pink and cute stuffs to lighting candles and fairy lights in my work place, like I knew that one step out of the balance and I lay flat on my tear flood. Because I have been cutting people off that disappoints me and because I feared further disappointments, I allowed myself only two friends that I thought would never disappoint me. Same worked with my relatives as I avoided anyone from the family tree except for my paternal aunt (my dad’s only sibling) and her family. Like I created a box that contained my family and my boy friend, my two best friends and my only extended family from my father’s side and I knew that stepping out of that box can make me vulnerable and exposed to depression that can take birth from the silliest of reasons.
Even though I’ve always hated schedules, I unconsciously created one. Waking up late, having a nice breakfast, checking my e-mails and texts, clicking some pictures for my blog, keeping a track of my social media and e-mails continuously, shower, extensive skincare routine (or self pampering session), lunch, power nap, cook or bake, occasional visits to my little nieces and nephews from my two first cousins, having a hearty supper, writing, having dinner, another extensive pampering session, chatting with my two best friends, playing some games on my phone, talking to my boy friend on the phone, checking my social medias and blog comments and then finally going to sleep. And there were once a month visits to Kolkata, to catch up with my boyfriend and the city life I have been missing out on. Like I’m always aware that a slightest of change in my routine can set my mood off. May be I fear my depression more than death, maybe that’s why I rush to light candles and fairy lights and run to get my phone to talk to someone from that box to lift my mood when I get a slightest hint of feeling low. I thought I created the perfect balance, that I figured out a way to fight my depression, that I have people in my life that I can find solitude in. Little did I realise that the people inside the box can walk out of it. They have every right to, don’t they? And it might sound like I’m too selfish and am grieving that the ‘perfect balance’ is ruined, but to me it’s way bigger than that. It’s nine years of carefully selecting people that are close to your heart and suddenly they decide to walk out. And when the list of close people is that small, chances are that losing a friend can hurt as bad as a break up and the only person you have to console yourself is you.
It’s been over 2 months now that I have been convincing myself that at the end of the day I still have a best friend in my boy friend and that I have a career that I love deeply and passionately. For the first couple of weeks, my blog was what kept me sane. Soon the scene turned into literally dragging myself into opening my laptop, finding no words to write, start crying and then shut the laptop off. Another series of unmotivated mornings when I get out of the bed knowing nothing I’ll do today will make my situation better. No picture I can click that will make me happy, no article I write can reverse the situation. And even if it does, even if the situation reverses I really wonder if it can make me happy again because deep within I feel like my depression was looking for another excuse to come back, and it just did.
One of my best ways to fight depression was to look for a blessing in disguise whenever something bad happened to me. May be that’s why this time it hit me the hardest, because you cannot possibly find any blessing out of losing a very close person who walked out not out of choice but out of compulsion. May be it’s time I take a peak out of the box myself, be vulnerable and learn how to work that out. May be if I leave my bedroom and go out more, the lump in my throat might decide to leave me after a certain point. May be there’s a way, that I might be able to create a new clockwork routine that will help me recover, I’m still hopelessly looking forward to that day but someday I’ll work that out.


P.S: If you are someone who suffers from depression or anxiety or stress, there’s someone who’ll listen to you and help you get through. If you know someone who’s going through the same situation, I hope you become compassionate towards them, because trust me, it really helps.

This entry was posted in Offbeat.

Blogger For Free

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I started blogging about 4-5 years ago with a hosted blog with the same name. I used to blog occasionally, but when I decided that I want to do it seriously as a career option, I dismissed it, purchased a domain and started afresh. At first I paid a web designer, who did a shitty job by creating an informational website instead of a blog even after repeatedly been explained. So I dismissed it again, started afresh, with a new domain (back with the original name this time), watched a lot of tutorials and designed it myself with a little help from a friend. It was August 2015 and I didn’t know exactly what I was expecting from it. I didn’t have any goals set, or any other plans for my blogs. I just kept writing. I didn’t have a good camera, and I used my phone camera which does the job terrible. I just kept purchasing products, using them and writing about them.

By November, my musician boyfriend who wanted to purchase a DSLR someday thought it was the perfect excuse to finally buy it, and he did. My picture quality got a little better, and I was so hooked by then that I quit my very successful job as a Senior Data Analyst. I had a notice period to serve, and my last day was a week before Christmas. On Christmas, I got my first Christmas gift from a brand as a blogger, the first sign that I am going into the right direction. It might be no big deal, but someone noticed that I was buying their products with my hard earned money and reviewing them on my blog. It was the best Christmas present of the year.

By January, I started receiving Press Samples, and by March, they started getting piled up. I still kept buying products by myself as I did not want my blog to survive only on Press Samples, but also by products chosen by myself. I tried writing every single day, and I still do, and if it wasn’t for Press Samples, I would have either run out of money or topics to write about. Actually I did run out of money when I flew to Delhi on January to stock up on Innisfree Products. My dad kept filling my bank account, investment I say. So the Press Samples I received helped me blog better. I spent as much time on them as I do with products purchased by myself. Any reader of my blog will know that my reviews are completely honest and I use skincare products on my own skin for 21 days before writing about it. May be I was going into the direction after all, because gradually I started getting paid article requests. Nothing huge at first, but a sign enough that this is going good. I realized that even the collaborations aren’t for free; the Press Sample is the mode of payment I chose to be paid in.

However, I also met a few brands, who wanted to send me their jewelleries, so that I can do a photo shoot wearing them and then send them back. Do you know how annoyingly long a photo shoot takes? Or how long my boy friend takes to edit them? Or simply the fact that for a 200Rs earring photo shoot we end up spending 5000rs on clothes and shoes and accessories to match with them? No we do not need you to provide us with something to write about. God gave us enough brain and creativity, that’s why we chose blogging as a career option. Now if you wish us to feature you, either pay us with money or by the stuffs you wish us to feature. We are not asking for anything for free, we are asking for a mode of payment that’s easier for you to afford/pay.

This January I was invited to a lovely fashion bloggers’ meet. That’ right, a fashion bloggers’ in our much ignored city of Joy. We got so much to learn (like wearing a saree in 100s of ways by Dolly Jain), lovely peoples to meet, we made friends, and in the end we were said that we can take away any cloth and create an outfit post wearing it. Each of us took one, did a photo shoot, published the post and sent the link to the host, a humble person. A couple of months back, there was another fashion bloggers meet. I thought I would see familiar faces. But there were none as most of the attendees were blogging for only a few months. The hosts started to speak. They started speaking about how they just organized the very first fashion blogger’ meet in Kolkata, the first of its kind (ahem!), and they did it to help Kolkata Bloggers who are much ignored in the field of blogging, than the other Major City Bloggers. I know, it’s true, but what are they doing to help us exactly? They are providing us with clothes to wear for a photo shoot which are meant to be returned after the article is published. Oh my God! What a big HELP. As if we don’t get it that we are the one who will HELP them by featuring their site on our blog for free. They even offered us to wear their clothes on Durga Puja, post Puja outfit featuring their clothes, and give it back to them when we are done. And you know who’s worse than them? The so called ‘bloggers’ who actually accepted their proposal. They not only brought whole blogger clan down by accepting this, but it didn’t occur to them that being a blogger, they can’t knowingly allow their already worn sweaty dresses to be sold. Who becomes a blogger with an ethics like that? And this is because of ‘bloggers’ like this that some brands have the nerve to propose something this terrible. Because if a brand is asking you to promote their brand for free, chances are someone already has, and they know that if you don’t, then somebody else will.

And then there are brands that are a little better, with better proposals, like 20% off from their site. You can actually buy products from their site with 20% off and write about it. What a cool opportunity! Just yesterday someone called, with an idea this brilliant, asking me if I have been blogging for a couple of months. I said that it’s been over a year now. But she went on saying that she’ll still consider me a new blogger and offered me a 20% off from their site. WOW! She said she’ll give me a call back to confirm, thus giving me an opportunity to block her.

The reason that I am posting this is to get real about this job. We don’t blog for free stuffs, we blog for the love for blogging, and the Press Samples is the mode of payment we accept for articles that aren’t specifically picked up by ourselves. And because I am a blogger who accepts Press Samples and also shops her own stuffs and products to write about, I always have products piled up to write about, and the reason that they are piled up is because I spent 21 days on each of them, that’s right 21 days. And I am thankful that I have sponsors who understand that I take that long to write about the products they send me. Because trust me, there are brands that will send you a product on Wednesday, and will expect you to publish the post on Friday. What does they think our review will be based on, imagination?

So, here I am getting real about my job. To all the brands out there- we bloggers aren’t for free, we have invested enough on our blog and on gadgets and we spend so much time and hard work on every single posts. So you need to actually pay us if you want us to feature your products. Because there are bloggers who blog full-time, just like me. And if I’m confident enough to quit my job to blog full time, trust me, I’m definitely not writing for you for free.

 

Image Source: Google

This entry was posted in Offbeat.

The Diwali Story

There are more than one historical significance and ancient stories related to Diwali. The one that I heard as a child was that Diwali happens to be the darkest day of the year, so it’s kindda legit that people have been decorating their homes with candles and diyas since the ancient days. I don’t know if this version of the story is right or wrong, as we Bengalies celebrate Kali Puja during Diwali and chances are that Kali Puja is the darkest day of the year. We celebrate the fiery, whimsical and ferocious side of women. It’s the winning of light over darkness and people have been celebrating it in the best possible way- lighting up the candles and diyas and decorating their homes and work places.

With time, people curated fire crackers which got included in the celebration, something I am not a huge fan of. Firstly, because I am an animal lover, secondly because I am an environment lover. I hate how animals suffers throughout the two days (Kali Puja and Diwali) and how you see only smoke when you look into the sky. I ask myself every year, why can’t people celebrate Diwali without firing high decibel fire crackers?

And then I found out that Calcutta Instagrammers and Streets of Calcutta are organizing Fanushi– an eco-friendly way of celebrating Diwali, gathering around at a park and lighting up thousands of Sky Lanterns together.

So without wasting any of our precious times, let’s get to the celebration part.

My Kali Pujo Celebration consisted  of only a Fanush  (Sky Lantern) and a couple of Fuljharis, to keep it as eco-friendly as possible.

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On Diwali, we (My boyfriend, his sister and I) attended Fanushi to create magical memories. Imagine, thousands of people  lighting their Sky Lanterns all at the same time making you feel like Rapunzel from the movie Tangled.

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See what I’m talking about?

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There were floating lights from my dreams…

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And I sent my wishes to my loved ones in heaven, especially to my grandma who passed away a few months back…

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And I vowed, my Diwali from this year, until my last one, no animals will be harmed by me, ever.

And guess what? I heard less high decibel crackers this year. I guess we should be thanking the Cracker Stall owners for selling so many Sky Lanterns for a change.

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My Kurti-Akriti

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Earrings- Qtrove

P.S: This post has been written with heavy eye lids after coming back from the event as I was wanted to post this on Diwali itself, no matter how sleepy I was. So please forgive me for my lousy write up, I promise my next posts will be better.

 

My Bucket List

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Of late I have writing about just beauty and lifestyle. But the truth is blogging is much more than just sharing what I liked and what I disliked. Owning a blog gives me the power to be heard, to inspire. Sure my life isn’t a perfect fairytale, but it’s highly possible that I am underrating something that someone somewhere is craving for, or vice versa. Being a blogger gives me the power of being personal with my readers. You see our readers matter a lot to us, sometimes more than our real life friends. There are readers who know us as better than some of our real life friends, because sometimes we share stuffs with you guys which we won’t personally share with our real life acquaintances.

So somehow it felt right to share my bucket list with you guys. I never had my bucket list written in any diary or notepad, they were like in my head. But then I realised that putting them all in a single place will help me work harder to actually achieve them. And who knows? May be you guys might even get inspired by some of them?

Before starting, I would like to mention that because I have never jotted them down before, it’s pretty likely that I missed a lot of them since they have been building up since my childhood. So here’s everything that I can remember including the ones that’s already checked.

  • Music:

I’ve been passionate about music from before I can even remember.  I have learnt Classical Indian for 7 years and ever since I was a kid, I wanted to build a career out of it. Sure enough my parents were always dead against it. I knew they would never let me. But I had this dream, that one day I will own a room full of musical instruments, and I vowed that won’t get married until that day, unless of course I marry a musician who’s going to share the same passion.

Status- Checked:  After completing my graduation, I started taking guitar lessons and by the end of my Masters degree I joined a fusion band and fell for the lead guitarist/ mainstream vocal. After the band broke off with a bad note, the two of us kept on with our duo setup. We are getting married by the end of next year (hopefully) and we already own 5 guitars and a Ukulele and still have a lot on our ‘instrumental bucket list’.

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[You guys can check some of our uploads here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_Thvm9XG3tN6dMIuK97B4Q]

  • Travel The World:

Who doesn’t have that on their bucket list right?  In my case, these travels doesn’t include any fancy hotels, instead I would love to stay with the locals and eat the local and traditional food, and enjoy the sights that tourists often ignore. I would love to put out a tent and sleep under the stars, in fact it should have been a whole point by itself.

My boy friend and I share the same passion for food; we hop around the city searching for different cuisines, and what better way there is to taste different cuisines other than travelling the world?

Status- Still hanging in there: The only person I know that share the same interest like me is my boy friend, and since I live in India and our parent’s are Indian, we have to wait for it until we are married.  (My parent’s and my sister love to travel too, but they travel like tourists and not like travellers, something I am never satisfied with).

  • Live an unconventional life:

Honestly, my family never understood me. I guess it happens to every single people who are a bit different from the others. My father’s family is full is of business geniuses (including my father), my mother’s family has some educational nerds(including my mother and my sister) and by nerds, I mean people who will leave their job as a professor in the city and build a school in a village spending the rest of their lives teaching. I guess I got the creative genes from my mother’s side, and they are happy as long as it remains a hobby. When a hobby turns into a passion, our parents get panic attacks. As students, we had few options when it came to building a career: doctor, engineer, teacher, or a govt. employee, your life has no meaning if you get out of that zone.

Well I always knew I was going to do something different, with huge struggles and difficulties I might add. I had only one career option, a school teacher, of a govt school mind you. But I joined the band when I was doing my masters. It got pretty ugly when my parents found out. It was to their relief when I left the band but then again what Indian parents would be okay if their baby girl starts dating a hardcore musician?! But I did what I had to do; I kept on rehearsing and performing with my boyfriend, until we decided that we need to get jobs to invest on instruments and equipments. A conventional job wasn’t a plan, but we agreed to work for one to maximum two years.  Sure enough our rehearsal sessions became a distinct event and all my salary was spent paying my bills and my rent (my hometown is 100km far from Kolkata so I live by myself). But we did manage to purchase a few instruments and equipments and while working as a Data Analyst I also grew the passion for blogging. I used to blog rarely, prior to joining the firm (a different blogspot blog with the same name) but it was my colleagues who enlightened me about the whole blogging thing. I purchased a domain and started afresh on August 2015 and pretty soon I was so hooked that I would stay up all night writing. I knew this was going somewhere and I knew that I need to spend some more time with my blog, not exhausted nights, but with a fresh brain that actually works.

My boyfriend being the creative soul that he is, has always wanted to try his hands on photography and when I started blogging he found his calling too. By November he purchased a DSLR and I gave my manager my notice letter. Anyone will tell me that it was too soon, but trust me, every hour I spent at the office, all I could think of was what am I gonna right today. And it was pretty frustrating when after going home I neither had the energy, nor would my brain co-operate. Also it was 3 months past 2 years and as stubborn as I was, I had to leave the job. So I did, and look at me now, I spend the whole day browsing articles, reading books, writing posts, attending events, playing the guitar and sometimes even attempting my hand on photography. I could not be happier.

P.S: My parents are actually supportive about my blogging career; they have been since the beginning which was a shocker to me.

Status- Checked: Living the time of my life and hoping that it would get even better after I get married because believe it or not, my boy friend is as invested in my blog as I am in his compositions.

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  • Have pink hair strand:

This has been in my bucket list ever since I was sixteen.  I searched so many Salons in Kolkata that can colour my hear freaking pink, but I found none. Only this one salon had wash of colour and I wasn’t dropping 500 bucks for a single strand for a single day. I had been searching for a perfect spray can for a long time and I just ordered one from BBlunt.

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  • Louis Vuitton Hand bag:

Here comes the mortal wish. I always had a fascination for Louis Vuitton Handbags. Again, who doesn’t right? But I’ve always found Louis Vuitton classier than any other Hi End Brands, they are like dreams.

Status- Checked.

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  • Not looking for MRP while shopping:

When I was in college, I never had I clue what I was gonna do the next day. People were like ‘Are you going to pursue a Masters degree after graduating college?’. ‘I don’t know’ was the common answer I could afford. Except for the times when they would ask ‘What’s your aim?’. That’s one answer I know ‘Ah! To become too successful to not have to look for MRPs while shopping’. (My sister already does that).

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  • Have my own home: (not my inheritance, but my own, and my boy friend’s of course)

Nothing fancy, just a place where I can look ugly and enjoy it.

Status- Again, far cry.

  • Stay Healthy:

I am a big time foodie. I don’t compromise with my food nor do I exercise. The only thing good about my appetite is that I love eating vegetables. When I decided I’m going to stay with my parents for the summer, I was really looking forward to grow some organic veggies in our garden. But that didn’t happen as with summer came the drought and then with my grandmother passing, things were a bit mess over here. I still am looking forward to grow a veggie garden along with my mother and I will make sure to blog about it if I do.

Fitness has always been the last thing on my mind. But when my grandma was in the hospital and after she died under certain circumstances I lost my appetite. The lack of nutrition started showing on my skin and overall my health. People give me one look at and ask me if I am suffering from some serious illness. ‘No, it’s just lack of food and sleep’. So I figured that it’s high time I start eating healthy and may be spare some time for a couple of sit ups.

You guys can follow my fitness journey over at my Instagram and if I get into a good routine, I will make sure to do a detailed post about it.

Status- Getting there

  • Have a profession that will allow me to spend enough time with my parents:

I’ve been living by myself since the past 9 years. All I ever wanted was to get to spend not just weekends but a good amount of time with my parents, especially before I get married (this feels weird, this post is technically the first time I am talking about getting married). So hooray, as a full time blogger I get to spend soooo much time at home. I do go to Kolkata for shoots and events, but then again I don’t need to wait for weekends to come home.

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And above all…

  • Inspire:

As a blogger, I do have responsibilities towards my readers. I just can’t write good stuffs about a bad product just because it’s sponsored. In the similar way, I just can’t show off the best parts of my life and leave the hardships behind the curtain. After all, we are all human. I believe everybody inspires people around them one way or the other, most of the time not knowing it themselves. The whole reason that I got all personal in this post is because I love when people follow their own dreams and choose their own paths. Some people doesn’t have a clue what they want from life, some people does, but are often too afraid to chase it.

I would say if you have figured out your calling, figure out ways to achieve it, you cannot leave any stone unturned.

So these are everything I could think of.  I seriously have no idea why I wrote this post the day before my birthday, is it because the clock is ticking? I don’t know. Whatever the reason is that I suddenly felt like writing this down, I hope you guys enjoyed it. And also I would love to read about your bucket lists. After all they are worth the chase…

It’s time to think about ‘Her Family’

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Image Source:http://hourdose.com/7-ways-mother-law-different-mom/

Have you ever wondered why India is probably the only country where a girl cries her heart out when she is about to start a new life?  She leaves everything behind, her parents, her pets, the house she has always called her home. Not all Indian women who start a new life get to start a new family. Most girls become a new member of an already existing family, some by choice and some by compulsion.

While the whole world shouts ‘Feminism’, no one asks why it’s always the girl who has to leave everything behind her? You may ask, “What’s going to happen to the groom’s parents if he leaves them behind”. Well the answer is “The same thing that’s going to happen to the girl’s parents who has no brother”.

The world has changed, so has our country and the mindset of the people residing in it. In-laws aren’t the monsters anymore. However, there are still some people who love to tell the new member of their family how they do things in their household. “We don’t do it in this way in our house” they say. The new family member is expected to forget how she did things at her parent’s house, yet she’s questioned why her mother hasn’t taught her anything.

I’ll be honest; there are a lot of young women who chooses to stay with their in-laws. They are fortunate enough to have in-laws who are easy to get along with. Because there are in-laws who treat their daughter-in-laws as their own daughters. Lucky are the women who get such in-laws. But let’s keep in mind, not every girl is that fortunate.

I don’t support leaving anyone’s parents behind, I think everybody needs to take care of their parents, be it a girl or a boy. I think that a woman has every right to choose whether she wants to stay with her in-laws or not, and even if they chooses to have their own home, they need to take care of both of their parents once they come of age, when the parents become dependent on their kids and not the other way around. Often times when an Indian woman asks to move out from her in-law’s house, she is called a home wrecker and certain names. She is told that her husband’s parents didn’t raise him to leave them behind. Nobody points out that her parents have raised her too; they did not spend their lives raising their child to grow up and take care of someone else’s parents, because she has responsibilities towards her own parents too.

Wouldn’t our country be a better place for women if they get to start their own family when they start a new life? After all, we all have the right to have our own home once in a life time, because we are not created to dwell between our father’s home and our father-in-law’s home.

The First Rain of The Summer

When I was small kid, I used to have a special bond with nature, which I never realized until I moved to the city. I grew up in a small town, with my parents and my sister. We have got a huge house with a huge front yard and a backyard with so many trees that you wouldn’t be able to count. ‘Forest’ as my friends used to call our backyard, some even referred to it as ‘sundarban’, I deeply loved every single tree in there. I remember crying my eyes out when some of them would get cut down. I can still remember all of the trees that got cut down over the years, the guava tree was my favourite. Most of our neighbours happen to be our relatives as well. Everything was so different back then, the elder people had such a deep bond with each other. I remember dancing in joy when it rained during the summer, collecting mangoes while it rained. My grandmother used fill lot of bags with seasonal fruits from our trees and I took the honour of distributing them among my neighbours while it rained. My mother still does that, only she waits for the rain to stop first.
The first year after moving to the city I used to feel so suffocated, I was always desperate to get some fresh air and would run to the terrace whenever I got the time. Hostel changed to apartments, apps got downloaded. I tried listening to the thunderstorm sounds like a sane person, it left me more depressed. It never sounded like that from my apartment when it rained.
After 9yrs of my stay in the city I decided to spend the summer back at my hometown. At first I thought I would get bored, I thought my stay at a small town would effect my blog. I won’t lie, it did effect my blog a little, but still I would say it has to be the best decision of my life. It’s been a month that I am here, every second of this month has been a blessing. When the first rain of the summer hit my small city, I felt nothing has changed over these years. We collected about 40kgs of mangoes while it rained, and distributed them, only this time I waited for the rain to stop before I stepped outside my house. If you are from West Bengal, you’ll know what rain means to us during the summer. That day after the rain stopped, I felt like a complete different person, as if the rain has flushed away all my negativity, as if everything made sense. It’s been two days and I still haven’t lost my new found positive attitude towards life 
and while I am writing this, I am enjoying the second rain of the summer. Ah! If only you could have seen the view outside my window! I know what you guys must be possibly thinking, if I’m really enjoying the rain, I would rather stare at my window instead of my laptop screen, but I really wanted you guys to see what I am seeing, through my writing, through my words.  I’m currently sitting 6 inches away from my window facing the hundreds of trees in my backyard, wishing that I would be able to take this piece of mother nature with me when I head back to the city. 


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