You guys might have noticed lately that I haven’t been posting articles as frequently as I used to, or more so, I post articles very rarely now. Back when I was new to blogging and I used to read so many articles on various renowned blogs, I seldom read about a term called ‘blogging blues’. Back then it was hard for me to understand why would someone just lose enthusiasm in blogging when they have well settled blogs. After entering deep within the blogging world I have been through times when my personal life affected my blog, times like when my Uncle expired, my brother-in-law suffered a heart attack and I got diagnosed with a tumour all in a span of 1 month including numerous accidents and deaths among immediate relatives. Those where situations when I didn’t get time to even open my laptop for months let alone right a blog post. But there haven’t been times when I didn’t feel like writing without any reasons at all, until a few months ago.
By the end of May, I fell from the stairs while I was visiting home and was in bed rest for a few days. I was unable to sit up and work on my laptop so I spent a couple of days in leisure scrolling through Instagram. You can say that it was a wide awakening for me because I realized that day how bad I had been ignoring my social media all this long as I had been giving 100% to my blog. I realized that I seriously needed to balance my blog and my social media and I decided to dedicate a few days to my Instagram account and after that I’ll resume blogging with a healthy balance. It turned out to be my worst decision ever. After spending so many days and hours on my Instagram, I thought that the damage I caused to my social media by ignoring them all these years were irreversible and that thought discouraged me so bad that I was unable to dodge the bullet and go back to working on what I dedicated the last 3 years of my life: my blog.
At first the lack of enthusiasm seemed fun, I started spending my time doing stuffs that I rarely used to do. I went to a few movies with my husband and then I got Amazon Prime and started spending my whole day, and soon my whole nights bing watching shows. At first I thought it was a much needed break, but soon I realized that my vacation is never ending. I stopped reading other bloggers’ blogs, I stopped login into my social media, and eventually I stopped going out. The last time that I went out of my apartment was probably when ‘Sanju’ was released and my husband literally dragged me to the theatre, and I chose the neatest Mall, and a midnight show and wore PJs to the theatre. And then there was that time when my guest author Anwesha visited me for lunch and upon seeing my condition dragged me to a neighbourhood street shopping centre. She thought going out will help me refresh my brain but it didn’t. I came back and watched another few of the episodes of the show I was watching. My insomnia came back worse than ever and there isn’t a day I’m going to sleep before 5-6 in the morning. I didn’t say ‘I’m going to bed’ because I’m always in my bed with my mobile and Amazon Prime. Yes, my mobile is always on my hand but at any given time you can open my Whatsapp and see 20 different unread chat threads and muted groups.
One thing I didn’t stop though, and that’s cooking. Back before I became obsessed with everything Korean, my favourite cuisine used to be Italian. The first few weeks after I went into my hibernating stage I learnt how to use chopsticks and kept ordering from Asian Outlets almost every single day. After weeks of Japanese and Korean food deliveries at a row, my love for Italian cuisine somehow came back and I started cooking all types of pastas that I can cook, and that I can learn to cook. Yes the only thing that I love to do and I’m still doing is cooking, but what’s unlikely of me is that I’m never clicking a single picture of my accomplishment, let alone sharing the recipes on my blog.
I remember being a health-freak, eating loads of vegetables, eating what’s good for my skin and eliminating what’s bad, squeezing fresh fruit juice every morning and almost turning into a vegetarian. I was so strict with my diet that I would often offend my in-laws by not having meal at their place as their food habit doesn’t match with mine, and would cook myself some skin friendly Korean recipes. But since the past two months I’m having lunch and dinner with my in-laws regardless if my digestive system co-operates with their food habit or not and cooking myself a hell load of carbs during the afternoon. And the worst part? My current skincare routine consists only of a face wash and a moisturizer.
I make futile attempts at opening my laptop and work every afternoon but somehow I just don’t get the inspiration or the enthusiasm. If I’m successful one day to force myself to jot down 1 article, the next day is the same all over again. Sometimes I tell myself that probably it’s my much needed vacation but then again, all vacation has it’s expiry date and I’m now getting frustrated that mine has been going on for over 2 months with no sign of the expiry date. I think if I get myself better refreshment than this never ending vacation I might bid it goodbye and finally resume working. So I attended some spa parties, dragged myself up and went to meet friends, went shopping, gave another visit to my hometown but whatever I do, I come back home and get into my bed with my mobile in my hand. I come to think that maybe I just need a grand refreshment, something to knock me out of my hibernation, like an exciting trip. However my husband refusing to ask for leave at work doesn’t help. I think of solo trips like I used to take before the wedding or trips with friends but then again, those might not be that fruitful, because if I go on a trip with my husband, I’ll come back with some amazing pictures which will definitely kick me out of my hibernation and make me post them on my social media and on my blog. But if I come back with ‘not that good’ pictures, there’s a high chance I’ll just go back into hibernation once I come back home. And if I think of weekend getaways, my husband says that he doesn’t want to travel long hours just for 1 or 2 nights.
I’m currently looking forward to no sign of my vacation ending anytime soon but I’m constantly looking forward to it. My sister is coming home next weekend, maybe spending a week with her turn out the be refreshing enough to get me out of this fruitless phase? Maybe another spa weekend? A day dedicated to self-pampering- and a lot of time to reflect on everything while sitting on that pedicure chair? Or maybe it’s time to revisit my therapist/psychiatrist because nothing helps better than little chat and an opinion from an unbiased person. Maybe he/she’ll tell me that I deserved this little vacation, maybe he/she’ll also suggest me ways to finally decide that I’ve had enough of this vacation.
I keep telling myself that the fact that I decided to finally talk (or write) about my blogging blue is a sign that it might be over in a matter of time. But until then, if you guys have any suggestions, or if you have gone through the same phase, do let me know what you feel I should do, try some more fun things to give myself a break from this vacation or just keep enjoying it. I’ll be eager to read your opinions and suggestions on the comment section below. 🙂