The thin line of difference between regret and realization…

Writing, because why not?

My day starts with the sound of a digital alarm. Irritating you should guess. Every single time it goes off I ask myself ‘For how long? How long will I have to wake up with these annoying sounds of a machine?

May be forever… Just kidding… just until it’s time for my superannuation.

So..

I brush my teeth, take a bath, get ready and set out for office like the robot I am. Yes, I skip the breakfast everyday like many other people in their 20s do. Who wastes time on breakfast when a second can cost you a half day’s salary?

I get a mini stroke every time I look at the wall clock, so I decided to ignore it, in the morning because who wants a mini stroke every single morning, and in the evening (better call it night) because I don’t want to remind myself every single day that I won’t get any time for myself, to finish the book I started reading before joining the office, to take a look at the magazine I picked up while coming back home or pick up my laptop and write an article. My guitar cries standing in the corner of my bedroom.

Half my energy gets drained trying to reach office. I do lose the marathon every other day and reach the office seconds or sometimes minutes after the time I’m supposed to reach.I decide my days in a simple way. The days I win the marathon is supposed to be a good day, and the days I lose is supposed to be a very bad day.

I do have a benefit which some people do not. I stay away from my hometown, which means I stay by myself, which also means I can stay wherever in the city I want. When I first joined my office I was staying at a very friendly neighborhood from where my sister and my boy friends’ place were very close, and there was a   metro station and  a train station, how convenient! But since I joined my office, it turned out that it wasn’t that convenient after all. After I lost all my leaves loosing the marathon, I decided I needed to move closer towards my office. I did, I moved a little far away from my sister’s place, my boy friend’s place and all the other conveniences. I moved to a weird place, it helped me win the marathon more often but I thought it wasn’t enough. So I moved again,much  closer to my office only to realize I’ve moved too close that I won’t ever get an empty cab while going to office.

Amid all these struggles I didn’t even realize that I have visited neither my sister, nor my boy friend since I moved here. Also, my recent place is so far away from the train station that instead of taking the usual 6.30 p.m train from my hometown I now have to take the 4.20 p.m train whenever I visit home. My parents also finds it very inconvenient to make a visit to my place.

All these, for just one thing, wining the marathon.

And what do I do when I win the marathon? I make a hell lot of money for someone who doesn’t even pay me what I deserve. Just kidding… I do the same even when I loose…

Do I have an option?

No…

Or may be Yes……

I never imagined how my life would be like if I put the same effort and struggle to do something that I like.

May be it’s time to think, may be it’s time to stop making money for someone else and to do something myself… May be it’s time to realize, so that the time never comes when i have nothing to do except regret…

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One comment

  1. supriya kabra says:

    sit back and relax at times! we all go through this phase. me too, only to realize later that I could have made better use of the time available only to myself. later as one progresses (read marriage, family et all), your time is no more yours! and then only regret is left!
    enjoy life TODAY

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